yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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