I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
