I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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