My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
