Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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