I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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