i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
