would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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