Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
