I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize