come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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