so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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