I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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