my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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