I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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