Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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