Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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