I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize