pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
