Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
and you fell through a lawn chair
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
