Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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