then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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