Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
