at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
