D3 body, D1 cock
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
