i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
