What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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