It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
