Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
