Whod you bang
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
