Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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