yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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