Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
