I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
