you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
