its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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