how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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