a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
