My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
