Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
