So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
