She said her name was "party"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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