I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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