fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
