babies were throwing up all over the place
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
