uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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