I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
