i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sponge bath it is.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
