She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
