"it" just moved
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
