oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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