the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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