If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
