just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
