no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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