Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
