Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
