Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
